Scars that Linger and Wounds that Heal
by flannel.is.lucky
Summary: "Robin? How do you make it stop?" His grip tightened slightly and his breath hitched. "I can't." He whispered inaudibly. I whimpered and cried into his shoulder. His response only confirmed what I didn't want to be true. I had to live the rest of my life with these fears.


**Okay so, um more chalant, and fluff, and nightmares. I was actually really bored when I wrote this so if its not the best, sorry. Um its going to be a multi chapter fic and ideas are totally welcome. The story takes place after the New Years episode in season 1, like in March.**

**Rated: T**

**Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Romance/Tragedy**

**Disclaimer: If I owned it, it wouldn't be cancelled**

_Chapter 1_

_The thunder cracked above my head and I felt the rumble quake beneath my feet. I couldn't see, I couldn't hear. I just had to keep moving. Every passing tree was blurred, and every step I took was more shaky than the last. If I didn't keep moving I would be dead. Keep going… keep running… everything and nothing was flowing through my mind. All of it was blurred and matted. My breaths were fast and shallow. _

_Then nothing._

_I slipped and hit my head off a rock. Everything went fuzzy and nothing seemed to be real. The rain was slow and blurred, along with my thoughts._

_"Now now, deary, don't you want to play?"_

_I looked behind me, right into the molten red eyes of the Devil. I stared, horror stricken, unable to speak, to scream, it laughed._

_"Why are you doing this to me?" I managed to choke out. It stopped and stared at me - through me, with solemn eyes._

_"I must liberate this world." was all it said before it scraped its raven-like claws across the skin above my collarbone. My pulse quickened. Red eyes widened and gazed at my neck feverishly. Like a crazed animal lusting for blood. It placed its grotesque hand over my throat, feeling for my vein. It licked its lips as if my fear gave it some sick satisfaction. I couldn't think straight, or wrap my head around the fact that I was going to die… for I was already dead. The hunt was over…_

_NO!_

_I lashed at its head and blood poured out of already red eyes. It screamed and released my throat and scrambled backwards in pain. My eyes widened and I looked down at my hands. In place of my fingers were long horrifying blades dripping with blood, glinting silver in the pale moonlight. I started to shake as I marvelled at the scythes. I had a chance to win. I had my chance to kill this nightmare. I slowly got up from my position and flexed my weapons, feeling the strength they gave me. I glared down at the creature and stalked closer to it._

_"It seems you have found The Darkness." it looked up at me with a bloody triumphant smile. Its eyes blinked away the blood and a sinister cackle escaped its mauled lips. My new found strength turned to anger and I tensed my muscles and lashed at its face once more. It continued to laugh, the eerie noise driving my rage further. My vision zoned in on my prey and the rims of my sight turned blood red. I was losing control and I wanted to. It deserved to die, It tried to kill me. I snapped. It was black and cold. I yelled and stabbed It in the throat and chest. Its blood pooled around my blades and dripped to the sodden ground beneath. It was silent. Then I heard the blood gurgle in its throat and a quiet wheezing that I could feel through its oesophagus. _

_"Z-z-zee?" _

_I froze. My heart stopped. It was such a familiar voice. I opened my eyes, the red gone, and looked up at Robin's mangled face. I gasped and ripped out my hands that were no longer blades. He slumped to the ground, unmoving. I clutched my hands over my mouth and managed to choke out a quiet cry of pain. Emptiness drilled a hole through my heart. I shattered to pieces, all my sanity, all my fight… gone._

_"W-w-why?"_

_I stroked his pale face and continued to sob, and shake, and mumble regrets. He died… I died… It won. My heart was torn inside out, my painful moans wracking my frail, cold body. I killed you, I thought you were it, I didn't want to. It made me. I closed my eyes and shivered. I wanted to welcome the cold to my body. I had lost the fight. I deserved to die. I heard cackling. His cackle. I looked up. Only to find a bloody smile. Robin was staring down at me with crimson death eyes. _

_"The Darkness wins."_

_No…_

My eyes snapped open and I instantly felt a pang of nausea. I ripped my self free of my blankets and ran to the washroom. As soon as my head was over the toilet I retched up what little of my dinner I had left. As I finished I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and started to shake uncontrollably. That was the worst nightmare of my life. My heart ached and a massive lump formed in my throat. I slid down the wall and wrapped my hands around my knees and started to cry. I couldn't help it. I was too drained and weak to hold it in anymore. I had been strong, but it still wasn't enough, just like in my dream. I always lost. How could I have done that to him, what kind of a monster am I? I swallowed the urge to whimper and got up so I could brush my teeth. After I spat out the last of the toothpaste I paused and looked at my reflection only to be met with hollow, dull eyes, with dark circles under them, and slightly sunken in features. I could see all the pain in every imperfect feature. I closed my foreign eyes and silently cried. I held my weight on the counter and started to shake.

"Xif ym ecaf ylthgils." I muttered. I risked another look. My face was somewhat fuller, but my eyes were still dull, and the bags fainter than before. I sighed sadly and walked shakily back to my bed. The angry red numbers flashing in my face read 4:56. There was really no point in going back to sleep; not that I'd be able to, so I decided to go make a tea while the rest of the cave was asleep, while there was no one near me. So I could enjoy the silence. The metal door slid open soundlessly and I slipped out quietly and quickly walked to my destination, all the while my body still trembling and tears relentlessly falling. I switched the bright lights on. My head pounded at the unwelcome brightness in my eyes. I took a shallow breath in attempt to control the pain and quiet cries as I walked to the kitchen. I turned the kettle on and pulled a mug out from one of the cabinets. My mind was wandering to my nightmare. I let the horrifying images reach my thoughts and they dulled all my senses and made my fingers numb. So didn't realize that the mug had slipped through my grasp until it was to late. It fell to the floor in a loud crash. I gasped and quickly reached down to clean up. I prayed it didn't wake anyone up, but when you're in a building that houses a Kryptonian with super hearing and a Bat with major paranoia, that hope was pretty slim, so when I heard footsteps running towards me, I just continued to clean up and act like they weren't there.

"Zatanna?" I didn't look up at Superboy when he called my name, I just continued to sweep up the broken porcelain with my hands, not minding that the bigger shards caused my hands to bleed slightly. I was aware of another presence, but I was so nervous of it being Robin I stopped cleaning and dejectedly stared at the linoleum floor.

"Supes can you give us a minute?" A terribly familiar voice whispered behind me. A gruff grunt was the clone's only reply before his heavy footsteps left. I didn't move when I saw the Boy Wonder stand in front of me and kneel down to help finish the job. I didn't move to assist him, I stayed frozen. My head couldn't send the right signals down to my body. When he threw the mug out he crouched down near me again.

"Zee, are you okay?" He asked in a voice he only used around me. I didn't move still, but my head lowered and my hair covered my features. He grabbed my faintly bleeding hands and wiped them off gently with a wet paper towel. I didn't want to talk to him, not after what my dream-self did.

"Zatanna?" He whispered. His hand reached my chin and gently pulled it up. His faced was creased with worry when he saw the condition I was in. My tears were still present on my cheeks and my spell had worn off, so my face had receded to its previous state. When I stared into his sunglasses I saw a flash of the crimson eyes and mauled scars that covered his features. My heart sped up and the tears fell faster. I whimpered at the horrifying memory and scooted away from his touch, afraid I'd repeat what I had done. His eyes widened and a shocked expression appeared on his face.

"Just stay away." I whispered in a defeated tone, with no hint of anger. He gave me a look that broke my heart even more.

"I-I'm sorry, did I do something?" He asked softly and desolately. My sobs wracked my body and I couldn't stop the onslaught of guilt washing over my mind. He didn't deserve to be hurt by me.

"Do your scars heal?" I whispered suddenly. He gave a confused look, but then his eyebrows rose in understanding. The whole team had been affected by Scarecrow's fear gas, but since it was my first time; it hit me hard, like really hard. Every night had been a nightmare that I had been subjected to in his hands, and even though the gas had worn off for a few weeks now, it still didn't help my psyche.

"Are you still being affected?" He asked me. He crawled over to me. I was to weak to move; so when I felt him settle beside me I just clung onto him and nuzzled my face into his chest.

"Yes." I answered dimly. Out of anyone on the team he had probably been the person who encountered Scarecrow the most in his time in Gotham.

"Robin? How do you make it stop?" His grip tightened slightly and his breath hitched.

"I can't." He whispered inaudibly. I whimpered and cried into his shoulder. His response only confirmed what I didn't want to be true. I had to live the rest of my life with these fears. He sighed and rubbed my arm soothingly while he stood up with me in tow.

"I want to help Zee, you can always talk to me, but I understand if you don't want to." He murmured as he placed me on a stool. I stared at him. The memories flooded back.

"I don't want to talk." I whispered. He nodded his head and gave me a small smile. He hugged me tightly and brought his lips close to my ear.

"Will you at least talk to Black Canary?" He asked with concern. I looked up at him and took a deep breath. I nodded my head and smiled.

"Promise?" He asked.

"Promise." Then I suddenly heard the whistling of the kettle. He chuckled and pulled it off the burner. I smiled faintly and grabbed another mug, careful I didn't drop it this time. I placed the cup on the counter and poured the boiling water into it. I was aware that he was staring at me the whole time, but I chose to act like I didn't notice. Even when I had bone chilling nightmares he could still make me feel better. Take my mind off of what happened, as if he knew exactly what to do. I was so lost in thought that I didn't realize that an apple was placed in front of me. I smiled and took it in my hand.

"You know breakfast is the most important meal of the day." He said brightly. I smiled and let out a quiet giggle.

"Thanks." I said as I took a small bite of it. He yawned suddenly and he placed his head on the counter.

"You can go back to bed Robin." I said with a quiet laugh. He yawned again and sat up straight.

"Nah, once I'm up, I'm up." He murmured as he hopped off the stool and over the couch, landing with a quiet thud. He grabbed the remote and turned the TV on. Then he went to Netflix.

"What'd you wanna watch?" He asked as he looked over the couch.

"And please spare me any Pretty Little Liars or Gossip Girl stuff, I beg you." He continued in a pleading tone. I laughed, like actually laughed, and sat down beside him, placing my tea down and continuing to eat my apple. It was amazing how he could make me forget how horrible my scars were. The scars would always linger, but the wounds, he healed them.

"Hmmm, how about, The Dark Knight Rises?"

He stared a me for a second before he burst out laughing.

"Shh-hh-hh!" I chided barely able to contain my own laughter. He slapped a hand over his mouth but still laughed.

"Sorry!" He whispered. I laughed and lightly punched his arm. He smiled and wrapped one of his arms around my shoulders and pulled me close.

"I suggest we watch 21 Jump Street." Robin said softly. I chuckled and grabbed the remote from his hand and read the description on the movie.

"Hmm, sounds interesting." I smirked and looked up at him.

"And plus it has Channing Tatum in it." He gasped and he pouted. I laughed at the look of mock hurt on his face.

"I'm honestly offended Zee!" He chuckled. But then his signature smirk took hold of his features. I snuggled into his chest as I hit play.

"Thanks Robin." I said quietly. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it lightly.

"For what?" I smiled and looked up at him as the song 'The Real Slim Shady' played.

"For everything." I answered as I felt my cheeks burn. He smiled and lightly kissed my cheek. I froze and stared at him, awestruck.

"That was… asterous." I murmured.

**So that's chapter 1, it turned out better than I thought, but it definitely went from super angsty to super fluffy near the end, but I really just wanted to have Netflix in here, and a really cute relationship… since I usually right sad stuff. **

**Uh, Stay Whelmed and R&amp;R. **


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